Kinsey AND twins?!!!

Let me start off by saying: I never felt like Eric and I would never have biological children; I just didn't know when it would happen. A year ago when we started our adoption journey we still had 2 frozen embryos just waiting to be used. I was completely done with our doctor, and whether I chose to move forward with more fertility treatments or not, I wanted a fresh start. Last December we underwent a frozen embryo transfer that I knew in my heart wouldn't work; and it didn't. 

At that point I was 100% invested in adoption and really excited for it. I was ready to take a break from fertility treatments for years (or at least until we found our first baby through adoption). But the funny thing about life is things never go the way you expect. Around that same time a friend of mine told me about how much she loved her fertility doctor and how she would change medications or dosages to customize the treatment to each individual (rather than the same old thing that I was getting from my previous doctor). I'm a firm believer that people are sent into our lives for a reason and when my friend gave me the name of her doctor, I couldn't ignore what I was feeling. I didn't feel ready to undergo more treatments nor did I want to, but a few weeks later I decided to have a consult with the new doctor and see what she said.

I believe my consult took place late January or early February. The doctor told me that I was one of the most difficult cases she had ever seen. Because I was 24 years old and completely healthy, there should have been no reason for me to not get pregnant (or in this case, stay pregnant). Apparently my estrogen levels were so high that I could have been written about in a medical journal. I was comforted by the thought that, "Hey, if I'm not going to have kids then at least I'm over-achieving and am a difficult case." On the other hand, it sucks being known as a tough case because then there are no guarantees IVF will EVER work. The doctor wanted to meet with a board of other physicians, so I came back a few weeks later to hear what was discussed. At that appointment my doctor believed I was so hyper-stimulated during my first egg retrieval that all of my eggs were of poor quality (we retrieved 43 eggs, 15 of which were converted to embryos and frozen, all of which resulted in unsuccessful pregnancies after 5 frozen embryo transfers). She thought the next important factor was getting me a fresh embryo transfer because the odds of pregnancy are better than frozen embryo transfers (during my first egg retrieval I was so hyper-stimulated that I had to go to the hospital for a few days and was therefore unable to have a fresh embryo transfer). This still left us at the same old crossroad: Do we spend $10,000+ at the chance of getting pregnant or do we wait for a baby through adoption? 

As mentioned in Our Adoption Story - Part 1, I was pretty frustrated after hearing from 2 birth moms in February. Eric kept mentioning trying IVF again but I wasn't sure I wanted to invest in it, both financially and emotionally, so soon. Oh how the tables had turned. Normally I was the one pushing for every treatment trying to knock them out as fast as possible. Eric didn't feel like he had the right to choose because it wasn't his body. This was hard on me because I felt like all the weight of every decision was on my shoulders. I decided that I needed to respect his feeling to try again, and I called up the doctor's office in March to schedule an IVF cycle. We planned for a June egg retrieval because we needed some time to secure our funds. I was scared to death of having my second egg retrieval because I didn't want to end up in the hospital again, but even more, my doctor said if I got really sick again then this would be the last time I could have an egg retrieval. Talk about a lot of pressure. It felt like this would be my last chance at trying to get pregnant. 

I was already on birth control for weeks to prep my eggs for a retrieval, and I received my IVF schedule on May 13th (which told me all the important dates and when to take medication). That next day is when we heard about Kinsey for the first time. I was freaking out trying to decide if we should do IVF still or if we should pursue the adoption opportunity. I wasn't getting anywhere with my decision. After talking to Eric the evening of the 14th it just sort of hit us--why do we have to decide one path? As we'd experienced 5 times already, there are no guarantees with IVF. There are also no guarantees with adoption because each party can change their mind at any time. Plus, I had tried figuring out God's plan for us countless times and I just had no idea what was meant for us. By choosing both, this put the outcome completely in God's hands, and I knew whatever happened in the end would be the best for us.

I had my egg retrieval in June as planned and definitely did not get as sick as the first time. I did get an IV once just to be proactive (there was no way Eric was going to chance me almost dying from dehydration again). I was still pretty miserable for an entire week. Eric told me that this was the last time he wanted me doing egg retrievals, and I agree. I don't want to risk anything happening to me, especially now that we would be adopting a child. Anyway, I started feeling pretty good about a day or two before the scheduled embryo transfer so we were able to move forward with a fresh transfer, which was our goal. 

I'm pretty entertaining on pain meds. Very giggly.

On June 26th, at 3 weeks and 6 days, I took a home pregnancy test and it was positive!! I admit, I kind of expected it to be positive because in my experience it happens more often than not. Also, we kind of laughed about how we would get pregnant if we adopted Kinsey but probably wouldn't get pregnant if we chose not to adopt her. On July 1st I went in for my first blood test to confirm that I was pregnant and test my HCG levels. HCG levels are supposed to double every 48 hours to indicate a good pregnancy and that's exactly what mine did. A good indication for multiples (though not scientifically backed) is when HCG levels triple or quadruple in this time period. Mine only doubled, so I was 100% confident that there was just one baby in there. Still, at this point we didn't know if I would still be pregnant a few weeks down the road because I had always miscarried around 5 to 6 weeks. 

Second test I took a couple days later.

 As you've read in Our Adoption Story - Part 2, we adopted Kinsey on July 5th (only 5 weeks 1 day pregnant) still not knowing if I would miscarry in a week or two. Every time I went to the bathroom I would fearfully look in the toilet hoping there wouldn't be blood. Any sort of cramping made me nervous for hours. As the weeks went on and I didn't bleed, I became hopeful that maybe it would all work out. We had our first sonogram on July 17th (6 weeks 6 days pregnant) and I was still so scared there wouldn't be a heartbeat. To our surprise, we got more than we bargained for. Here's the video we sent our families at 8 weeks:

So there you have it!! Soon enough we'll be a family of 5 (all in 8 months!!). I haven't had any bleeding so far, but I've still been a little nervous about losing a baby. Hearing the heartbeats again this week helped me feel more at peace. Also, if you're doing the math, my official due date is March 6th but my OB thinks I'll give birth early February so that's why we announced it for that month. I pray that my body holds out that long so these little babies can grow!! After getting over the shock of a successful twin pregnancy that lasted WEEKS, we are so so so excited to be adding to our family. Kinsey is going to be a great big sister and we're grateful that she'll have siblings close in age to play with. And hey, I'm not too worried about the newborn stage with twins because I have nothing to compare it to. Either way it's going to be hard, but so worth it. We couldn't be happier about how this all turned out because we found our baby girl who we love more than anything in the world!!