A Hospital Thanksgiving

Eric's mom was already in town helping with Kinsey, but Eric's dad flew in the Tuesday before Thanksgiving to spend it with us as well. It wasn't the Thanksgiving we originally planned, but it was a lot easier for me haha. My wonderful mother-in-law made dinner for us and surprised me with my family's jello salad and some berry pie. My faves (besides the stuffing, of course)!! 

I waited most of the day for Thanksgiving dinner, but it's okay because I normally don't get visitors until later in the day. I got to be my usual lazy self here in the hospital. 

The group!

Here's the food spread they brought me! Dinner tasted delicious and I wish all the stuffing was left with me.   

 Our celebration lasted less than two hours (thanks to Kinsey's bedtime) but this was probably one of my favorite Thanksgivings. I don't know if it was because Kinsey was in such a good mood, I was happy to have a home-cooked meal again, or because I have a ton to be thankful for this year, but I had a blast!

Dancing on daddy's feet.

 Kinsey was giving me so many hugs and kisses on Thanksgiving day. What could be better than that?! I couldn't choose just one of these pics to post so you get to see all three :)

 

I could live off these hugs!

 Grandpa fed Kinsey cooked carrots. One at a time is not Kinsey's style, so she decided to shove them all in her mouth at once. She looked like a chipmunk. I can't believe I didn't get a picture of it. This girl does not know the meaning of patience!

Kinsey at 15 Months

I didn't blog Kinsey's 14 month update because all my photos disappeared from my computer. Don't worry, Eric was able to fix it. So this may cover the past 2 months a bit. 

Lately I would describe Kinsey as my Little Miss Independent. She rarely lets you feed her because she wants to do it herself. She refuses to hold your hand when walking. And she MUST be the one holding the phone when we FaceTime with someone. 

Playing with daddy. 

 Kinsey has always had such a sweet disposition. I think this will help her to be a great big sister. She loves playing with her dolls by wrapping them in a blanket and putting them down for a nap. She'll give them kisses and pat their back. 

Taking care of her baby. 

 She is quite the little stinker when it comes to drawers and cupboards. We tried putting a chair in front of this drawer and then she figured out she could crawl UNDER the chair to get to the drawer. I eventually taped it closed because I don't want her to fall and hurt herself. 

 She's very used to Eric checking her back for any alignment issues. I love how little she is on the table. 

Being a big girl. 

 Kinsey is really into playing with fake food these days. She also has pretend picnics by "nibbling" on the food and "drinking" out of the cup. 

 For some reason, Kinsey decided the rug in front of the kitchen sink was her new play mat. She brings toys to the rug and then plops herself down and plays quietly. She also started walking backwards. She'll start on one side of the living room and then walks until she runs into me, then she sits on my lap (her chair of choice). She's so silly.

 As Kinsey gets older, it's harder to contain her during church. She has so much energy! I think she's really going to enjoy going into nursery but she still has a full 3 months to go. Eric takes her to priesthood a lot, and he said one Sunday she started pushing all the chairs. Yes, she enjoys pushing chairs in our house too!

Playing at church.

 Look how long her hair is!!

 She's been having fun experimenting with her facial expressions. It takes her a few days to get the face down when she copies us, but I think she does pretty well!!

Like daddy like daughter. 

 Her level of understanding shocks me sometimes. I'll be talking to another adult when she's around, and then whatever I'm talking about (food, couch, pillow) she will go to it. She hears the word and thinks she should start playing with it. 

Cutest sad face in the world.

 If Kinsey has one love besides her family, I would say it's FOOD. She would snack all day long if we let her. Even though she is obsessed with food, she may be in the mood for something one day and not the next. She is definitely a girl who knows what she wants. 

Enjoying her crepes and blueberries!

Kinsey is at such a fun age! I can't wait to see what she comes up with next. She is a very smart girl (like every mom says about their children) and she's so funny. 

28 Years

Eric's birthday was on November 23rd. As he stated to me, this is the first time in 28 years he's spent his birthday in the hospital. We were going to go see Hunger Games in the Cinema Suites for his birthday. I still really want to see it and can't wait to get out of here and go to the movies!! I also wanted to do a little party for him or something but that didn't happen, so it was nice that our friends Thane and Shelby stopped by for the hospital party. 

His mom made him a birthday cake! 

Birthday boy and the guests. 

 Eric's first birthday as a dad!!

Ignore how tired we all look. 

 Kinsey takes after me with her little sweet tooth. 

Grandma feeding Kinsey cake. 

 And then Eric opened his present from me. I use the term "from me" very loosely because his mom made this all possible!

Funny expression when he saw what the present was. 

 Just like every year, Eric got a new nutcracker to add to his collection!! You may think it's a little girly looking, but he's about to be a dad to THREE girls. Kinsey absolutely loves the nutcracker and wants to play with it all the time. 

After the guests went home, Eric and I watched Superman in my room. I couldn't keep my eyes open so we had to finish the next day. What a wife!!

It was definitely a unique birthday this year, but I'm glad we got a little celebration in. 

Day 8

On Sunday morning one of my doctors walked in my room with a machine and exclaimed, "I can't wait until Wednesday. Let's measure the fluid today!" Okaaayyy. I had a feeling everything was okay with the fluid so I didn't have any concerns about it, but if the doctor wanted to check then it was just fine with me. The doc found a lot more fluid surrounding Scarlett than when I was first admitted to the hospital. It was actually enough to be in normal range. They still wanted to see it increase a little more. I was also allowed to only be monitored 1 out of every 6 hours now. AWESOME. A lot less interruptions to my sleep. If everything continued to go the way it was going, we could possibly talk about when I could go home at my next check-up (today). 

Unfortunately, my little stinkers had another plan in mind. On Monday night Scarlett's heart rate decelerated (dropped) for 5 minutes so I was put back on continuous monitoring for at least 24 hours. I slept poorly again that night and caught up on my sleep during naps all morning. On Tuesday evening Shayla's heart rate dropped for 3 minutes. There went my hope of getting off continuous monitoring before bedtime. I slept surprisingly well last night (with a little help from Ambien). 

Missing my baby girl. 

 This morning I left my room for the first time in week. My doctor checked the fluids again and it increased!! The fluid is now looking great and almost equal for both Scarlett and Shayla. My cervix was also measured -- it went from 2.9 last week to 2.2 cm today. 

Apparently she only photographs on this side? 

There was no mention today of going home. I think we're in the clear regarding the fluid around the babies. After a long chat with my nurse practitioner, it doesn't seem like I'll be going home soon. The babies are too unpredictable with their heart rates and although my cervix could definitely be shorter, there's no way of telling at what length a person will go into labor (it varies from person to person). They want to keep me here so I'm close to doctors in case anything happens. Also, I'm unable to feel contractions at this point in my pregnancy. I haven't had consistent contractions, but I didn't notice the ones I did have. 

It's sad to think I might not be home for Christmas. Every time I think about it the tears start falling. I have a good feeling that my babies will be healthy, but I have absolutely no idea when they will be here. I hope not too soon, but if so, at least we're at a good hospital with staff capable to care for them. 

Florida Trip

Kinsey and I headed out to Florida on November 5th to spend time with my fam and be in my sister's wedding. I wasn't sure how the plane ride would go. I thought she'd be afraid of the plane because it's so loud, but she just really enjoyed getting her own seat and not being strapped down in a car seat. Unfortunately, the return flight was full and I had to try to contain her to my lap when all she wanted to do was wander off in the aisle. It was a tiring experience.

Our first day in Florida we showed Kinsey the ocean for the first time! I wanted to warm her up to it for when the rest of the family arrived.

Audrey and Kinsey

She was a huge fan of the sand...

Kinsey didn't like being so close to the water. 

but HATED the ocean and the noise it made. We couldn't even dip her feet in it without her freaking out. She's going to have to get used to it though, because I LOVE the ocean. 

When my other sister and her daughter arrived, we headed out to my favorite Japanese steakhouse, Arigatos. Yummm. Kinsey tested out the chopsticks and was a little unsure of everything when the chef lit the food on fire. 

 She loved spending time with her cousin, Amora. 

 The next day Grammy and Papa watched Kinsey while the girls got pedis! 

Audrey, Wendy, and Amora.

I tried to protect the babies from the fumes with this awesome mask. It was kind of nice not having to smile in the pictures because no one could see my mouth anyway!

 Kinsey discovered her perfect sized chair. I think Amora joined in because Kinsey was getting so much attention on her "seat." 

 After some beach and pool time, the wedding day arrived! Kinsey immediately started playing with the decor. She was the youngest and best behaved flower girl there. Too bad she didn't get her own set of flowers. 

 Gorgeous bride! 

 Sisters.

 Audrey sat down to rest her feet and Kinsey plopped down on her lap. It started a whole sitting photo shoot which all included pictures of Kinsey :)

Whoops. I accidentally cut off Audrey's head.

Here we are waiting for the ceremony to begin.

Kinsey followed the flower girls down the aisle, but because they were bigger they walked too fast for my baby's little legs. About halfway down the aisle Kinsey stopped and started looking around for things to play with. After watching her wander for a few minutes, Grammy finally picked her up and took her to a seat. The other two flower girls decided to pick UP the petals during the ceremony...

The day after the wedding all of my family hit the airport but me. Luckily, Audrey was nice enough to spend the day with us. She didn't leave for her honeymoon until later in the week. We hit up Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. Restaurant and the waiter gave us Forest Gump trivia and everything. 

 Not knowing when we'll see the beach again, Audrey, Kinsey, and I went to the beach one last time so Kinsey could play in the sand. 

Happy baby. 

I love when she rests her head like this. She is soooo cute!!

I wasn't really in the picture taking mood so I didn't even get pics of Kinsey meeting her grandparents for the first time. Dang it!! We had a good trip and loved seeing my family. 

Hospital Update

I've been in the hospital for 3 days now and the days are already starting to blend together. I am trying to pinpoint a date when I can go home, but of course the doctors and nurses don't know. So I continue bringing up my "guesses" and see if they agree with me haha. It would just be nice to have a date to look forward to. I'm very optimistic about the babies' health and feel everything will turn out okay. I find myself crying every day, mostly at night when I'm all alone, but I'm pretty sure the majority of tears are due to these stupid pregnancy hormones that really started messing with my emotions a week and a half ago. I FaceTime Kinsey and she visits me every day. She's been very happy having grandma take care of her, so I don't worry about her too much. Of course Eric and his mom have been great through all of this, bringing me whatever I may need from home.

By the way...

***HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIC!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!***

I guess before I get into further detail I should probably tell you that these little girls have names. First names at least :)

Meet little Scarlett, currently weighing in at 1 lb 8 oz. She's still a little stinker always curled up low in my pelvis. Sometimes it makes it pretty difficult to keep the monitors on her heart rate. 

 And then we have baby Shayla. She's always on top of Scarlett with lots of room to roam. She currently weighs 1 lb 6 oz. 

 The first 2 days and nights I was strapped up to the monitors 24/7 to make sure Scarlett and Shayla were stable and I wasn't having any contractions. It was pretty miserable. Because I'm only 25 weeks they are still tiny and have room to move around. Hence, nurses were constantly in and out of my room adjusting the monitors to find the heart rates whenever the babies would swim. Any tiny movement I made would almost always cause the monitors to lose the heart rates. I felt like I was in a straight jacket always trying to remain completely still. That's one way to lose your sanity. I slept an average of 4 1/2 hours those nights and was not able to fall asleep during the day for naps. Needless to say, I was crying and texting Eric in the middle of the second night telling him how tired I was. I eventually passed out at 4 am. 

 The monitors are checking for dips in the heart rates since Scarlett's heart rate was low for quite a long time on Wednesday. There were a few dips the first couple days but it's improved a lot. THANKFULLY, yesterday I was taken off continuous monitoring and now I'm only strapped up for an hour every four hours. When it hits that hour mark I feel like my stomach is on fire with itchiness. I can't believe I lasted on continuous monitoring when I can barely get through an hour at a time now.  But the heart rates are looking great and I personally don't foresee any problems with them. 

 As for the fluid, they are going to re-check the levels next week, most likely on Wednesday. Checking any earlier would be pointless because they know the results would still be low. The doctor is hoping the ibuprofen I was on to lengthen my cervix is the cause for lack of fluid. Ibuprofen can affect babies' kidneys and cause them not to pee, therefore there is no fluid being recycled to protect them and the placenta. Unfortunately, even if the fluid results are good I am still stuck here. The doctor just said we need "time." Yup, that's all I have to work with. There's no guarantee that the lack of fluid was caused by the ibuprofen and if this is the case, they have no way of knowing the cause and can only monitor the babies. 

All the focus right now is on Scarlett and Shayla's health. They aren't concerned about my cervix at all. Apparently after 28 weeks they wouldn't care about what length it is anyway. So I'm REALLY hoping to get out of here when I'm 28 weeks. After talking to a nurse she thinks Christmas is a good goal. AHHHHH I hope not. I want to be able to do all the Christmas stuff with Kinsey like meeting Santa. *sigh* One day at a time, I suppose. 

Complications

About a month ago I thought I had the best pregnancy. The day I hit the second trimester my nausea went away completely. I felt great (just the normal tiredness) and was able to get everything done around the house and take care of Kinsey at the same time. Then a few weeks ago I saw a perinatologist (who specializes in high-risk pregnancies) for the second time and he was concerned that my cervix was shortening (it started at 3 cm and went down to 2.6 cm in 3 weeks). For those of you who don't know what this means, after the cervix shortens to a certain point it then dilates and labor begins. Clearly no one wanted this to happen as the babies would not survive or would have many health problems. The perinatologist decided to put me on modified bed rest (aka as little activity as possible with a 1 year old) and 2 medications. In just one week on this regimen my cervix grew to 3.8 cm. Wahoo!! I was even given permission to go to my sister's wedding in Florida the next day. 

Kinsey and I got back from Florida on November 11th and I was scheduled to see the perinatologist the next day to see how my cervix was doing. Although I got permission to go to Florida, I was still anxious to get my cervix measured again because I felt like I overdid the "bed rest" in Florida a little. To my dismay, I received a voicemail saying my specialist did not accept my new insurance. I met with my OB last Friday and we were trying to find a new specialist ASAP that would work with my insurance as well as someone who is affiliated with a hospital my OB can deliver. He found someone who could meet with me on Wednesday morning (today). 

So this morning I dropped Kinsey off at a helpful friend's house and headed out to my check-up without Eric since he has been very busy lately. After all, it was just going to be an ultrasound to check my cervix length. As far as we knew, the babies were doing great and the only concern was me going into labor way too early. A tech measured my cervix and it was a 2.9. I was happy with that number because it didn't go down too low. Then I met my new perinatologist, Dr. Finley, who said maybe 2 or 3 things to me the entire time. He was checking out some other stuff with the babies and was very focused on the ultrasound. I wasn't a fan of Dr. Finley by his first impression. 

During the ultrasound I got really hot and felt like I was going to pass out. Dr. Finley had me move to my side and continued the ultrasound while the nurse handed me a wet washcloth. It still took awhile for the sick and hot feeling to pass, but eventually it did...slowly. The doctor had me move to my other side to get a better angle for the ultrasound and before I knew it I heard him say something about the heart rate of Baby A being really low. He told the nurse to get a wheelchair and said I could put my pants back on. Yup, I was naked from the waist down. I watched him leave the room and waited a second for someone to close the door so I could put my pants on. No one closed the door and a second later the wheelchair was in my room. Dr. Finley said there was no time for pants and he rushed me into the chair and booked it out of the room to a labor and delivery room. I held it together pretty well because everything was happening so fast. In the elevator I asked Dr. Finley how low the heart rate was and he said it was 100 when it should be 110 to 160. I started tearing up but was still trying not to cry. I was so worried about my baby and my pregnancy emotions have been getting the best of me this past week.

When I entered the labor and delivery room I was placed in the bed and there were 7 or 8 people working fast around me, trying to put monitors on my stomach, and asking me if I had leaked fluid (which I hadn't). I heard Dr. Finley say the heart rate was 70-100 so maybe he was sparing my feelings before. The possibility of giving birth today was brought up. I even met the doctor who would deliver if my baby's heart rate didn't go back up. That's probably when I lost it. My whole body shook for about a half hour. The tears wouldn't stop and I called Eric to have him come to the hospital in case we were having our babies today. People kept coming and going and I discovered that Baby A barely had any fluid around her. That's why they were asking if I leaked anything. So there were two issues going on with our baby girl--a low heart rate and no fluid to protect her. Baby B was doing fine, so the question is, "At what point do you intervene if one baby is thriving and the other is not?" I'm 24 weeks and 6 days today, which is still very early to deliver. Although both babies would probably survive, they would have a lot of problems.

After Eric arrived, the baby's heart rate had stabilized and they admitted me at Overland Park Regional. I was supposed to deliver at Shawnee Mission, but I have learned that things never go as planned. It's probably for the best since they have the highest level of NICU here. My babies are currently being monitored as well as my contractions which I don't have yet. I'm told that I'll be here "awhile." Whenever I ask what "awhile" means, no one can give me a straight answer. It's just too early to tell.

All strapped up. 

 Today was the longest I've been away from Kinsey and I missed her like crazy. She was more confused about where I was when she visited then to spoil me with hugs and kisses. Maybe tomorrow.

 She also really loves my water bottle.

We're hoping the ibuprofen I was on is what caused the lack of fluid. If that's the case, then maybe Baby A's heart beat keeps dipping because she doesn't have enough padding. This is the best case scenario. 

Eric's mom flew in tonight to take care of Kinsey while I'm in the hospital. I'm sure I'll still be here for Thanksgiving but I'm really hoping I won't be here as long as Christmas. I'm already uncomfortable in this hard hospital bed and bored. We appreciate any prayers sent our way!! And thank you to our neighbors who watched Kinsey today as well as my siblings for the flowers :) 

Month of Gratitude

I've never done the daily "what I'm grateful for" thing in November before. And let's just be honest, I blog so I have a place to put our pictures or else no one would ever see them. But due to recent uncertainties with my pregnancy and how thankful we are to have Kinsey in our lives, I wanted to document what stands out to me each day this month. So here it goes! I may try to sneak a pic or two in here. We'll see...

I AM THANKFUL FOR: 

1. Willing friends who help us in times of need. I'm the type of person who doesn't like asking others for help for fear of being a burden so I especially appreciate my proactive friends. I strive to be more like you!

2. My wonderful AMAZING husband who played mommy all day long while I felt like I was on my deathbed--even though it was his one day to relax. I love that Eric is such a hands-on dad. 

3. Our home teacher. I would still be feeling crummy all day without him dropping everything to rid me of my headache and give me a priesthood blessing with Eric. 

4. Competent doctors. They help me keep these babies in longer!

5. Flying. Who wants to sit in a car all day when you can just hop on a plane?!

6. My sisters. Sometimes I don't realize how much I miss them until we're all together. Nothing can replace sisters and I'm glad Kinsey will experience that type of bond. 

7. Grandmas. There's something to say for leaving your child with their grandma. I never worry if she'll be okay when grandma's around to help. 

8. The ocean! We used to go every year as a kid and I have missed it. 

9. Communication skills. It took Eric and me a little while to perfect it, but now we tell each other everything and I love it. 

10. Cell phones. Seriously, I can't imagine life with these suckers. While I was in Florida Kinsey and I were able to talk to and see Eric every day via FaceTime. 

11. My sweet baby girl, Kinsey. When I'm sad she can always cheer me up with her hugs and kisses. 

12. Our two daughters on the way. Eric and I always wanted a big family, but with infertility everything is so uncertain. Right before we found out we were having twins, I told Eric I would be okay with just one more so Kinsey could have a sibling. Now she gets two best friends!!

13. Adoption. I cannot picture our lives without Kinsey--everything before her seems like a lifetime ago. She is everything to us, and I'm so thankful her birth mom was inspired to meet us!

14. Date nights! We went on our second date today since having Kinsey and it was just like the good old days when Eric and I were dating. 

15. Modern day medicine. I cannot count how many times I have been to the doctor in the past few years, but I'm a firm believer that modern day medicine is here for us to use. It has helped us in so many ways. 

16. A good night's sleep. Not that I'm getting good sleep lately, but it sure makes me appreciate it more!

17. Eternal families. 

18. Naps! These are what gets me through the day when I can only sleep for 3-5 hours a night. 

19. Indoor bathrooms. I know this is random, but can you imagine having to go outside EVERY time you needed to use the bathroom? That would be miserable. 

20. Small blessings. I just happened to have an appointment at an office attached to a hospital with the highest level NICU...just in case. 

21. Nurses with a personality. Seriously, they make the days and nights a lot more fun. 

22. My home. It may not be huge and we are always dreaming of buying a house but I'm grateful for it and I miss being there already. 

23. Eric's mom being able to spend his birthday with him today. Happy 28th birthday to the best husband and father!!

24. Church members. The people in my church have been so great and constantly available in case we need anything. I'm grateful to be part of such a wonderful group of people!

25. Insurance. Thank goodness I don't believe in going without insurance. You never know what life will throw at you. 

26. Books! I finished my third book on day 6 in the hospital. 

27. Warm showers. It's the best break from the hospital bed that I look forward to every day. 

28. Home-cooked meals!!

29. The internet. I would be extremely bored without it. 

30. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My religion has been monumental in giving me the faith to know everything will be okay, no matter what trials are thrown your way.