Day 20 - Still Here

I've been meaning to write an update since Friday, but honestly, I've been a little blue and not in the mood to write. As you can see, I'm still here in the hospital. It recently started getting really hard for me to be in here. I don't know if it's the fact that I'm unbelievably sick of the hospital food or that I allowed myself to believe I was leaving on Friday, but I've been extremely unmotivated and emotional this weekend. Due to my emotions, please don't ask me when I get to leave. I don't know. The doctors don't know. And it changes daily. 

Wednesday I was told if everything looked good through Friday then I could go home. At 5:30 am on Thursday, in between my 5-6 am monitoring, my nurse rushed in my room to try to adjust the monitors and find Scarlett's heart rate. She wasn't getting a good reading and soon told me to go on my hands and knees, put me on oxygen, and put a monitor on my finger to see my heart rate (to make sure she wasn't confusing it for Scarlett's). It happened very quickly and I was given another IV site just in case they needed to send me to labor and delivery. I do not like the mention of giving labor this early AT ALL. It was very early in the morning and you can imagine how surprising this was as I was in and out of sleep. 

With the help of oxygen, Scarlett's heart rate did go back up and I was put on continuous monitoring until noon. There were no more decelerations that day so I was able to take breaks from monitoring again. Everything went perfect until Friday morning during my 9 am monitoring. There was another deceleration that was remedied by me moving on my side. I was put on continuous monitoring again until noon. The nurse didn't get to my room until 12:15, and at 12:13 Scarlett had another decel. Of course I was kept on continuous monitoring until Saturday and had the worst sleep of my life. The nurse came in my room soooo many times. I don't think I got more than an hour of sleep at a time. 

And as the cycle goes, I was taken off continuous AGAIN on Saturday. My entire body was extremely sore after my 24+ hours of being on the monitor. It seems the longer I'm here and put on continuous, the harder it is on my body. Anyway, things went great again until Sunday. Scarlett had another issue Sunday morning, then in the afternoon, I was put on continuous, and then another deceleration this morning. So here I am, being continuously monitored yet again. I'm in this vicious cycle and am lacking hope of going home. 

There are a few happy things to mention. My sister was able to come on Wednesday to take care of Kinsey. We are so thankful for this help and stability, as I know it's confusing for her to have so many babysitters. The plan is for Audrey to leave this Thursday and then Eric take over, getting sitters during his final exams. We'll be okay until January and then hopefully I'll be back home so we won't have to worry about more Kinsey coverage. 

Audrey and her little pal!

 My sister, being the Christmas lover she is, went out of her way to purchase decorations so I could decorate a tree with Kinsey this year. And yes, I'm wearing Eric's shirts now. I grew out of one t-shirt and now he thinks I'm too fat for ALL my clothes. I'll just look like a hobo the rest of my hospital stay, no biggie. 

 Kinsey doesn't understand how the ornaments hang, so she just places them on a branch and expects it to stay. I secretly put the string around a branch and tell her "good job."

 The finished product!! Thanks to Audrey for bringing more Christmas spirit into my room. Now I just need tiny presents to go underneath. 

 As for Kinsey, she has been crying out for "mama" the longer I'm away. Because of that you would think she'd run to me when she enters my room, but nope. She just looks around for something to do. It isn't until she's about to leave that she hugs me and doesn't want to let go. I love her little arms holding on to me. I just want to be back home with my baby girl. On the other hand, I really don't want 2 pound babies so they need to continue growing. I just wish that could happen at home. 

Hi from little K!