Complications

About a month ago I thought I had the best pregnancy. The day I hit the second trimester my nausea went away completely. I felt great (just the normal tiredness) and was able to get everything done around the house and take care of Kinsey at the same time. Then a few weeks ago I saw a perinatologist (who specializes in high-risk pregnancies) for the second time and he was concerned that my cervix was shortening (it started at 3 cm and went down to 2.6 cm in 3 weeks). For those of you who don't know what this means, after the cervix shortens to a certain point it then dilates and labor begins. Clearly no one wanted this to happen as the babies would not survive or would have many health problems. The perinatologist decided to put me on modified bed rest (aka as little activity as possible with a 1 year old) and 2 medications. In just one week on this regimen my cervix grew to 3.8 cm. Wahoo!! I was even given permission to go to my sister's wedding in Florida the next day. 

Kinsey and I got back from Florida on November 11th and I was scheduled to see the perinatologist the next day to see how my cervix was doing. Although I got permission to go to Florida, I was still anxious to get my cervix measured again because I felt like I overdid the "bed rest" in Florida a little. To my dismay, I received a voicemail saying my specialist did not accept my new insurance. I met with my OB last Friday and we were trying to find a new specialist ASAP that would work with my insurance as well as someone who is affiliated with a hospital my OB can deliver. He found someone who could meet with me on Wednesday morning (today). 

So this morning I dropped Kinsey off at a helpful friend's house and headed out to my check-up without Eric since he has been very busy lately. After all, it was just going to be an ultrasound to check my cervix length. As far as we knew, the babies were doing great and the only concern was me going into labor way too early. A tech measured my cervix and it was a 2.9. I was happy with that number because it didn't go down too low. Then I met my new perinatologist, Dr. Finley, who said maybe 2 or 3 things to me the entire time. He was checking out some other stuff with the babies and was very focused on the ultrasound. I wasn't a fan of Dr. Finley by his first impression. 

During the ultrasound I got really hot and felt like I was going to pass out. Dr. Finley had me move to my side and continued the ultrasound while the nurse handed me a wet washcloth. It still took awhile for the sick and hot feeling to pass, but eventually it did...slowly. The doctor had me move to my other side to get a better angle for the ultrasound and before I knew it I heard him say something about the heart rate of Baby A being really low. He told the nurse to get a wheelchair and said I could put my pants back on. Yup, I was naked from the waist down. I watched him leave the room and waited a second for someone to close the door so I could put my pants on. No one closed the door and a second later the wheelchair was in my room. Dr. Finley said there was no time for pants and he rushed me into the chair and booked it out of the room to a labor and delivery room. I held it together pretty well because everything was happening so fast. In the elevator I asked Dr. Finley how low the heart rate was and he said it was 100 when it should be 110 to 160. I started tearing up but was still trying not to cry. I was so worried about my baby and my pregnancy emotions have been getting the best of me this past week.

When I entered the labor and delivery room I was placed in the bed and there were 7 or 8 people working fast around me, trying to put monitors on my stomach, and asking me if I had leaked fluid (which I hadn't). I heard Dr. Finley say the heart rate was 70-100 so maybe he was sparing my feelings before. The possibility of giving birth today was brought up. I even met the doctor who would deliver if my baby's heart rate didn't go back up. That's probably when I lost it. My whole body shook for about a half hour. The tears wouldn't stop and I called Eric to have him come to the hospital in case we were having our babies today. People kept coming and going and I discovered that Baby A barely had any fluid around her. That's why they were asking if I leaked anything. So there were two issues going on with our baby girl--a low heart rate and no fluid to protect her. Baby B was doing fine, so the question is, "At what point do you intervene if one baby is thriving and the other is not?" I'm 24 weeks and 6 days today, which is still very early to deliver. Although both babies would probably survive, they would have a lot of problems.

After Eric arrived, the baby's heart rate had stabilized and they admitted me at Overland Park Regional. I was supposed to deliver at Shawnee Mission, but I have learned that things never go as planned. It's probably for the best since they have the highest level of NICU here. My babies are currently being monitored as well as my contractions which I don't have yet. I'm told that I'll be here "awhile." Whenever I ask what "awhile" means, no one can give me a straight answer. It's just too early to tell.

All strapped up. 

 Today was the longest I've been away from Kinsey and I missed her like crazy. She was more confused about where I was when she visited then to spoil me with hugs and kisses. Maybe tomorrow.

 She also really loves my water bottle.

We're hoping the ibuprofen I was on is what caused the lack of fluid. If that's the case, then maybe Baby A's heart beat keeps dipping because she doesn't have enough padding. This is the best case scenario. 

Eric's mom flew in tonight to take care of Kinsey while I'm in the hospital. I'm sure I'll still be here for Thanksgiving but I'm really hoping I won't be here as long as Christmas. I'm already uncomfortable in this hard hospital bed and bored. We appreciate any prayers sent our way!! And thank you to our neighbors who watched Kinsey today as well as my siblings for the flowers :) 

Month of Gratitude

I've never done the daily "what I'm grateful for" thing in November before. And let's just be honest, I blog so I have a place to put our pictures or else no one would ever see them. But due to recent uncertainties with my pregnancy and how thankful we are to have Kinsey in our lives, I wanted to document what stands out to me each day this month. So here it goes! I may try to sneak a pic or two in here. We'll see...

I AM THANKFUL FOR: 

1. Willing friends who help us in times of need. I'm the type of person who doesn't like asking others for help for fear of being a burden so I especially appreciate my proactive friends. I strive to be more like you!

2. My wonderful AMAZING husband who played mommy all day long while I felt like I was on my deathbed--even though it was his one day to relax. I love that Eric is such a hands-on dad. 

3. Our home teacher. I would still be feeling crummy all day without him dropping everything to rid me of my headache and give me a priesthood blessing with Eric. 

4. Competent doctors. They help me keep these babies in longer!

5. Flying. Who wants to sit in a car all day when you can just hop on a plane?!

6. My sisters. Sometimes I don't realize how much I miss them until we're all together. Nothing can replace sisters and I'm glad Kinsey will experience that type of bond. 

7. Grandmas. There's something to say for leaving your child with their grandma. I never worry if she'll be okay when grandma's around to help. 

8. The ocean! We used to go every year as a kid and I have missed it. 

9. Communication skills. It took Eric and me a little while to perfect it, but now we tell each other everything and I love it. 

10. Cell phones. Seriously, I can't imagine life with these suckers. While I was in Florida Kinsey and I were able to talk to and see Eric every day via FaceTime. 

11. My sweet baby girl, Kinsey. When I'm sad she can always cheer me up with her hugs and kisses. 

12. Our two daughters on the way. Eric and I always wanted a big family, but with infertility everything is so uncertain. Right before we found out we were having twins, I told Eric I would be okay with just one more so Kinsey could have a sibling. Now she gets two best friends!!

13. Adoption. I cannot picture our lives without Kinsey--everything before her seems like a lifetime ago. She is everything to us, and I'm so thankful her birth mom was inspired to meet us!

14. Date nights! We went on our second date today since having Kinsey and it was just like the good old days when Eric and I were dating. 

15. Modern day medicine. I cannot count how many times I have been to the doctor in the past few years, but I'm a firm believer that modern day medicine is here for us to use. It has helped us in so many ways. 

16. A good night's sleep. Not that I'm getting good sleep lately, but it sure makes me appreciate it more!

17. Eternal families. 

18. Naps! These are what gets me through the day when I can only sleep for 3-5 hours a night. 

19. Indoor bathrooms. I know this is random, but can you imagine having to go outside EVERY time you needed to use the bathroom? That would be miserable. 

20. Small blessings. I just happened to have an appointment at an office attached to a hospital with the highest level NICU...just in case. 

21. Nurses with a personality. Seriously, they make the days and nights a lot more fun. 

22. My home. It may not be huge and we are always dreaming of buying a house but I'm grateful for it and I miss being there already. 

23. Eric's mom being able to spend his birthday with him today. Happy 28th birthday to the best husband and father!!

24. Church members. The people in my church have been so great and constantly available in case we need anything. I'm grateful to be part of such a wonderful group of people!

25. Insurance. Thank goodness I don't believe in going without insurance. You never know what life will throw at you. 

26. Books! I finished my third book on day 6 in the hospital. 

27. Warm showers. It's the best break from the hospital bed that I look forward to every day. 

28. Home-cooked meals!!

29. The internet. I would be extremely bored without it. 

30. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My religion has been monumental in giving me the faith to know everything will be okay, no matter what trials are thrown your way. 

Carving Party

Eric and I have a tradition of carving pumpkins with friends or family every year. This year Shelby and Thane joined in on the fun. 

Shelby's pumpkin was already done so she helped entertain the little one. We brought Kinsey's pumpkin inside so she wouldn't feel left out. 

Kinsey was fascinated with the pumpkin guts. 

My pumpkin didn't have a stem so this was the first year I carved sideways. Can I just tell you how much easier it is to get the guts out when you buy a pumpkin from the pumpkin patch instead of the grocery store!!

 Thane pouring out the guts. 

 And, of course, a group picture!

 Silly faces. 

 Just look at Kinsey's little legs as she's sitting there. I love it!!

 Here's the proof that I carved the best pumpkin this year... ;)

 Thane taught us how to be ghosts in a photo. I always wondered how it worked!

 My beauty. 

 Eric's traditional pumpkin. 

 HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

Trunk or Treat

I've been looking forward to our church's Trunk or Treat for weeks now. Can you believe it's been 5 YEARS (when we were dating) since Eric and I have dressed up for Halloween? Needless to say, I was ready to play dress up again. Once we knew Kinsey would be Snow White, the ideas just kept flowing.

Eric decided he wanted to look like a real dwarf so he suggested walking in boxes. It was then my job to make his idea a reality. And no, that's not sympathy weight; his shirt is stuffed :)

Doc the Dwarf and Snow White

Kinsey was kind of a grump all day. She woke up from her afternoon nap to see us in costumes and then we changed her into her dress. When we arrived at the church EVERYONE was in costume and she just looked around like, "What the heck is going on?"

Wicked Queen and Snow White

We started off the activity by walking in a parade around all the cars and then the trunk or treating began! 

 

 Kinsey didn't start smiling until she realized that every time we went to a car she got a piece of candy. And then she thought every time she got candy from someone she could keep asking them for more--a few people thought it was so cute they gave her extra. I had to carry her to each car since she wouldn't walk away from a candy opportunity. She LOVED picking the candy and putting it in her pumpkin. 

It didn't take long for Kinsey to start dragging the pumpkin because it was getting so full. Of course she wouldn't let me hold it for her, so I ran to the car to empty the candy. She got so mad being separated from her precious pumpkin for 20 seconds. 

My pretty girl!!

After we went to every car, Kinsey started heading to other kids to take candy from their pumpkins. Haha. I stopped that before it went too far. 

Kinsey hates wearing headbands so she went through most of trunk or treating without one. Finally Daddy put it on again and she was not happy.

The best way to keep a headband on is distraction. So Eric handed her candy to hold. 

The whole Snow White gang!!

Doc the Dwarf, Snow White, and the Wicked Queen

 

We took a couple pictures with Kinsey's friends. 

Kinsey and Hailey (and Lindsay)

Hailey was part of a whole family of bugs!

Kinsey and Jessalyn

And just because I love her little backside...I had to throw this one in there!! She's been so attached to Daddy lately she just follows him everywhere!

 

Schaake's PuMpKiN Patch

Last Tuesday Eric didn't have school. I love the random days that he's home with Kinsey and me because he's been so busy lately. We took advantage and headed out to Schaake's Pumpkin Patch so Kinsey could fall in love with fall!

Kinsey wasn't sure what to think of the chickens at first, but she definitely grew to love them and was smiling at the end. I love her "unsure" face!!

Our little shorty was in the 15th percentile for height at her 12 month check-up. Just above the 2 feet mark!

Kinsey was a little confused by the maze at first but it didn't take long for her to let go of my hand and start running on her own. 

Although it was very sunny, there was a pretty cold breeze. We snuggled up and kept warm when the wind was blowing. 

We have discovered that Kinsey is not a fan of moving objects (other than a car) that make noise and are bumpy. She wasn't loving her first hayride. Better luck next year!!

Where's Kinsey!?

Pretty girl. 

Like with almost everything new, Kinsey needs a little warm-up time. Once that is over she welcomes everything with open arms. After walking around the pumpkins for awhile she decided she liked them and started hugging every one she could. 

And another...Our baby girl just has so much love to give!

All the pumpkins we ran into in the field were mushy and gross, so we headed back up to the front area and picked our pumpkins. Kinsey loved her pumpkin and ran to me with it. 

She also helped pick Daddy's pumpkin. 

Forty pounds of pumpkin later, it's time to carve!! Little babies got a pumpkin too :)

Award's Night

Well folks, he's done it again!! Eric earned himself another scholarship by writing a phenomenal essay!!  Funny story about this essay: It was the night before essays were due when we finally remembered to do them (yes, I say WE because I help Eric get started). Eric was studying for a test so I grabbed the list of essays and ripped out the ones Eric didn't qualify for. It didn't take long for me to notice the questions seemed oddly familiar...as in the EXACT questions from the year before. So the next day when the essays were due, Eric picked out two he had turned in the year prior and jazzed them up. And just like last year, he won $1,000 with LIKELY the same essay. Ha. Joke's on them for not changing the questions. 

On Saturday, October 12th we all got dressed up and went to the scholarship award's banquet so Eric could receive his $1,000 for the "Boring" scholarship:

Boring is right. This night drug on and on with all the talk of CCC alumni and whatnot. Scholarships were at the very end OF COURSE.

 I wasn't the only one bored. Kinsey and I spent most of the time in the back of the room because she did not want to sit still. Getting a babysitter never even occurred to me. I still take my baby girl everywhere I go, but I may need to loosen the reigns a little. 

We're so proud of Daddy!!

 

Gender Reveal!

When we started our last IVF cycle we had NO IDEA both embryos would take, nor did we even allow ourselves to imagine a newborn baby out of it 9 months later. Now we are far enough along to find out the genders for BOTH of our soon-to-be Walkers (a day after Kinsey became a Walker)! Eric and Kinsey's final guesses were two boys. I thought two boys for months and then 2 days before the ultrasound I felt strongly we were having a girl and a boy. 

If you haven't watched the gender reveal yet, check it out here.

The first time we saw our babies they looked like this:

6 weeks 6 days pregnant

 Then 2 short weeks later we could see their little heads and arm and leg stubs. 

9 weeks 1 day pregnant

 SPOILER ALERT!!

Then on October 11th, at 19 weeks and 1 day pregnant, we went in for a very comprehensive ultrasound. By VERY I mean 45 minutes for each baby (Kinsey watched the screen like it was a TV show for a pretty long time for a 1 year old)!! I was soooo uncomfortable lying in the same position for so long, but everything checked out great which I am THANKFUL for. Both babies are growing equally and have all their parts. Speaking of parts...

Baby A: It's a girl!

 I was SO SURE Baby A was our little boy. Mainly because she is so active I just pictured a boy. Baby A (name pending) is our little firecracker. She is so low in my pelvis we couldn't get her entire profile. She also spent a good portion of the ultrasound kicking Baby B in the face. It was like watching a movie. 

 And when we checked out Baby B and didn't see any important male anatomy parts, I WAS SHOCKED!! Like, it's taken a whole week to sink in kind of shocked. Imagine telling Kinsey for months to give her baby brothers kisses. They were boys until proven otherwise. 

Baby B: It's a girl!?

 Baby B (name also pending) is our chill little girl. She cooperated during the ultrasound and fought back a little during her sister's kicks. Mostly she just rested her elbow on Baby A's head and went with the flow.

We know God is sending us the babies that are meant to be with our family so of course we are so excited about having two more girls. Kinsey is going to be an awesome and loving big sister and we can't wait. My second trimester has been blissful (I've only had the tired symptom but that's to be expected). My doctor won't let me go past 38 weeks so February is the latest I'll carry these little ones. Can you believe it's only 4 months away!?